There is always a point of no return.  The moment the thought turns into action, the choice into a decision. Like jumping out of an airplane or declaring war.  Then there’s the moment you say I do, and many times, later say I don’t. But what happens when your standing on the precipice of staying where your comfortable, or committing yourself with that last step. That is my dilemma. In my  experience it’s at this moment that memories,fears, hopes, dreams and a thousand what if’s swirl around my mind making it impossible to see anything clearly. I know I don’t want to stay where I am, yet there is a great amount of fear that lurks in the uncertainty of change. Perhaps that’s why my marriage is a Sinking ship.  Being held above water by the last few air pockets dispersed below. I’m unlikely the perfect wife. I have however made every effort to change myself, the surroundings, and him. None of which was helpful. I learned how to put the pieces back together but I am only one half of the puzzle. He is unwilling to interlock his pieces with mine. I know that many relationships come to an end. I had hoped that this 20 year investment would be salvageable. We met as soldiers during Desert Storm. But that is a story for another day. Today, memories must be sorted, dreams must be stacked up, and what if’s must be quieted…

  

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Edge of Goodbye
Illuminate my life,
My world
My soul.
Upon forever
Dreams and desires reside
Then ride away
On the sunset of angry Loneliness.
Circular searching for
A little peace,
A corner of the table cloth
A breath of significance
In your world.
Darkened days become
Darker nights
Another chance at hell on
Your way to heaven.
And when the bitterness
Decides to seep
From the soul
And the anger
Leaves its place,
Along with it will go
The memory of your face.
Standing on the edge
Of goodbye

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