Another Dear John

Should I start with I’m sorry
Maybe a pause
as I search for better words?
In the silence of my thoughts
You will hear the roar of your pain.
Without a word said your heart is breaking
And my mouth is dry, I’m choking on death. I close my eyes against the melting sun
So I don’t see the tear drop
Onto your perfectly polished toe.
“it’s not you”, I begin.
It comes out harshly
As death is hard to swallow.
I try again to tell you how
I’ll cherish our memories
But fail as it sounds fake and insincere.
Finally it comes down to four words.
Three of which I wish I’d never said,
But I did.
To take them away is unfair.
To let them remain is…. Well worse.
I ever so softly say “I don’t love you”
And wait in silence as the night air
Cools my burning skin.
Turning to face you
I see there are no tears
in your beautiful eyes.
Your fingers dance along
The bark of our oak tree.
With the tiniest shrug
You tilt your head sideways,
And for a moment I doubt my own words.
“I don’t love you either, my heart isn’t yours to break.”
Touching your fingers to my lips
You smile, then turn and walk away.
Staring after you in silence
I hear the roar of my pain
And a single tear drop
falls onto my toe.



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