Another night of thinking instead of sleeping.  Do you ever wonder what your life would be like today if you had made different choices? What if I had chosen to marry the other man? Yes I do mean other. What if pain medication hadn’t been my best friend those heart wrenching painful years?  What if my career hadn’t suffered from it? What if I had children earlier or later? I have made some exceptionally poor choices in my life, the consequences of which have inflected pain onto those that love me. Granted there were other options that would have been better, which is where the what if comes in. I could be here all night playing the what if game and imagining myself in my version of a perfect life. In the end, when the sun is peaking over the horizon all I have to know is that they were my choices. They have crushed me, molded me and enlightened me. I have gained wisdom and patience that I have come to desperately need to call on in raising my daughter. I am who I am because of the choices I made. And although I regret the pain I’ve caused in others, I look in the mirror and say “I like you.”

Your mistakes don’t define you, it’s how you handle them that matters… There are many quotes to that effect and of course I can’t come up with one now, but the point is own your life and trust your learning something you need to know. Then carry that lesson with you.

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